Its been 3 months since my last confession

I guess i did it again... its been a long time since i've written in here. It always seems like there is so much to do... and always so little money to do it with...

My life has changed a lot in the last few months. I've changed to a new job which has been really good for me. I totally needed a change of pace and the opportunity to do something new.

And while i've been given these new opportunities I've also started to pick up habits that i'd given up for a long time. Life is always made up of hard decisions and there's always a huge trade-off between long term and short term gains. I know at the momemt I'm having some crazzzzzy fun weekends and meeting heaps of cool ppl while doing it... sometimes i worry it might end up costing me a succesful future. Haha... All the drinking and partying can't be good for your body. Sooner or later its going to have to catch up on me.

Maybe i need to find me that nice girlfriend that will put me in place and make me a good boy again hahaha =)

will see

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

I've been really lazy in updating my blog hehehe... whoops... I'll try to do better from now... =)

Anyways I thought I'd post my results for one of these internet tests and Wow...
I must say its pretty weird how some of these tests can be so accurate... specially when I'm thinking what do white tigers, lions or doves have to do with anything??? What the???

But I have to say I think this is pretty accurate about how I am.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Life's a bumpy road

Sometimes in life you have little derailments (or at least what I'd like to call derailments), and similar to reality when you have a derailment things usually get fixed to be better.

It’s usually hard to accept that at the time something really bad is happening in your life, what is happening really what should be happening, and that is possible things might actually get better, but the reality is that what is happening in your life is probably exactly what should be happening…

In life, and especially relationships, when something bad happens its usually for a reason, and if you’re the one that thinking thats what is happening is bad and your partner isn't, your relationship probably isn’t meant to last. It’s easy to think at certain points in time that maybe your partner might have been the best person for you and that maybe you will never be able to do better but if they managed to give you up so easily, they are almost definitely not meant to be the person for you.

The reason why you usually feel so bad at the time is usually because that in the relationship you were in, you were actually the one that cared more for the other person. The reason why you partner could leave you is because they didn’t.

I'm not a believer of settling... And in relationships I especially don't believe you should ever settle for something less than perfect... For most relationships if you were the only one trying to save it, it probably wasn't worth it.

A relationship should only really last when both of you never want it to end…

Its All or Nothing

Relationships are hard at the best of times. They all need love but the ones that are successful also need hard work and attention.

I use to think that if there was enough feeling between two people things would always work out.

My misguided belief in this has meant that at many a time I've been guilt of only trying half heartedly to make my relationships work. I use to think it was ok to make a little effort and then wait and see what the other person was willing to give back before deciding to give more.

The problem with thinking this way is that it means your relationships are usually doomed to fail. While talking to one of my very perceptive aunties I came to the conclusion that only giving 50% in a relationship just doesn't cut it. I realise now that my relationships should always have been all or nothing.

As the saying goes "Love is for the foolish" and although most people would interpret this badly it does make a very sound point. A relationship will never flourish if you only give 50%. If you're always waiting to decide if you should give more, I can tell you for a fact that the other person is probably doing the exact same thing, waiting for you to give more before they do. Love is for the foolish. Not because you must be stupid to love, but because when you love someone you need to throw caution to the wind and let your heart rule your mind and not the other way around. You shouldn't let petty thoughts of who deserves what to prevent you from making your partner happy. In the end if you never take chances you will never fully experience how much someone else could mean to you.

If you really want to give a relationship a chance, I've realised you really need to give it everything you have. It always hard to give everything you've got because when you give everything you leave yourself open to being hurt 10 times worse then when you didn't, but when things do work you can be left infinitely happier then if you didn't try.

In the end, if you don't give everything you've got...

You don't really have a relationship...

The Gift of Forgiveness

It occurred to me quite recently that when it comes to the heart, whenever you are hurt, its better to let go and forgive your partner unconditionally, rather than give your forgiveness based on whether your partner makes it up to you.

The reality is, as long as you have reservations about giving your forgiveness, you will never fully give it.

Mistakes happen, and in most instances that’s what they really are... just mistakes...

They weren't intentional and you weren't meant to be hurt. By placing conditions on your forgiveness you only make the gift of forgiving less meaningful.

By making forgiveness conditional you force your partner to act because they are expected to, and not always because they want to. When you hold expectations and they are not met it’s very easy to become resentful and to do thinks out of spite rather than because you really mean them.

Intention is everything.

It’s much better to forgive and expect nothing in return.

When you do this you may find that accepting whatever your partner wishes to give you willingly, and because they care, is more valuable to you than them doing the things you would otherwise have demanded of them.

Relationships should be unconditional and you should do things because you want to rather than because you feel you have to. When there are no motives or expectations in a relationship you end up with a relationship that’s based on your true feelings and not the feeling you think you're obliged to have.

At the Beginning

At the beginning there was Confidence.

When all things came to pass and chaos subsided, all that was left was Humility.

Its funny how experience teaches us that sometimes the things we think we know, are sometimes just the illusion we create to make us happy.

Sometimes, for us to grow, you need to strip away the illusion and accept the reality. The illusion might make you happy, but in the end it remains what it always was... an illusion...

It is much better to see the reality and make it better until the illusion is made reality... Or better yet until reality exceeds the illusion...

-- The result from months living the illusion and then experiencing the chaos --